Innocence Lost

Innocence Lost. Acrylic & pastel on masonite, 48 x 48 inches. © 2011 by Kathy Crabbe100 Words 5/24

It is amazing how one stroke of a brush or line of charcoal can exhilarate. Without over-thinking I let the painting itself guide me into new territory, Aries rising leads the way, until something unique and intriguing is discovered.

Sometimes a little insanity is a good thing...that's what art has taught me.

Amorphous forms arise from the murky deep. Sea creatures feed.

Art making requires supreme faith in one's humanity, or what's the point in living? Working alone we face ourselves - can you handle it? What kind of world do you want to create given a choice?

5/25

My painting dreams ME into being almost as if I don't exist until I paint it so. Sometimes I'd like them to be more political, but often they just don't care...their roots grow deeper, their consciousness primeval...a reminder of hidden depths we've yet to plunder.

Innocence lost, a forgotten melody, a charm, a far off friend, a sorrow buried...these marks I make a reminder.

Paintings I love: the Post Impressionists, Expressionism, the Fauves: Matisse, Gaugin, Kirchner, Nolde, Munch, Der Blaue Reiter, early 20th century Paris, woodcuts - raw emotions.

Where to go next? One false move it's ruined.

5/26

"No" to painting today. It's so perfect and sunny but paint it is and so I sit and stare and wait and ponder and write and dream and worry and wait and hem and haw and fiddle and fuss until the birds and the breeze and me are in synch then I close my eyes, take off my glasses, put down this pen.

Can things be easy just for once? Like having someone else sell my work so I can paint and printmake and write and Circle. Does there have to be a hard part. Can't we all flow?

5/27

What's the good of expressing emotions? Well, for the "armoured amazon" (Schierse Leonard), let down by an emotion-less father figure it spells hope for mankind and I do mean the 'man' part.

The fire that burns within must be released or else one dies from the inside. Commercializing art-making brings no joy or hope or spark to me. Creating and releasing. The trick takes place in the next act: the selling and marketing of the work - not my job, but like breadcrumbs to the wolf, my paintings are being discovered by the trickster who resides in each of us.

EXTRA BIT: Perhaps by facing and owning this trickster, this huckster of dime store dreams, we can save what's left of our culture and ourselves. If dreams are paintings let mine save nothing, not souls, not dreams, not minds, no escape from ourselves. So what's left? What's the point? There is no point. We've only got our own life to make a difference. How will you make a difference? The point is to go beyond everything and into new territory and yes, I'm sure it's been explored before, but for me it's new - that's where the thrill lies. New for me, is having faith in my work in and of itself and for no other reason other than that it exists and its good and its speaks to me.

Gemini New Moon Musings

Each month at the new, full and crone (waning) moon I post a Creative Soul Card of the month along with actions, challenges, questions in my Moon Musing Group in the Creative Soul Circle (free to join ~ women only!)  Many of you have already taken my eClass (Awaken Your Divine Feminine Soul) and have the lingo downpat ie. Moon Musing Journals, Collages, etc. so I really recommend taking this class if you’re feeling a bit confused. I’ve also included Moon Musing Playsheets for you to download so that you can follow along at your own pace.

Each month’s moon musing is different, because I wait for guidance from Mama Moon herself according to the zodiac sign she resides in and attempt to time my musings for the exact moment that she enters that particular sign.

I also suggest that you set intentions each new moon with the help of this New Moon Manifestation Exercise written by my favorite astrologer, Barbara Hand Clow.

John's Giant Banana. Watercolor on paper, 8 x 10 inches © 2011 by Kathy Crabbe

Gemini New Moon Creative Soul Card: John’s Giant Banana. Choose your own card here.

Challenge: There is so much going on right now that I’m going to keep it very simple, now that IS a challenge!

Action: I’d like you to envision your new moon intentions as if they were torches and then imagine lighting each one of your torches as if we were standing together in a circle all around the globe; one torch sparking another and another. Then I’d like you to share any visions and insights that you receive in regards to each one of your intentions allowing the torches to spark and illuminate your intentions in new and exciting ways. (I hope that wasn’t too complicated?)

Affirmation: Please share your affirmation with all of us below. My affirmation for the group is “I step forward with a light step walking with ever greater resonance into beauty".

Obstacles: What obstacles and challenges might you face in regards to your intentions?

Success Outcome Marker: please share in the Circle.

Question posed by your card to you: if you’re having trouble coming up with a question please let us know so we can all try and help.

How does your card tie in? please share in the Circle.

On the Art of Life and Vice Versa

Inspiration via Michael Kimmelman's book The Accidental Masterpiece On the Art of Life and Vice Versa~ Eva Hesse (sculptor) said:

All my stakes are in my work. I have given up in all else. Like my whole reality is there - I am all there." It was and she was. That was Hesse's declaration of ardor and commitment, for which she was willing to bet the house. Sol LeWitt had encouraged that attitude in one of the great freewheeling examples of an inspirational letter from one artist to another. "Learn to say 'Fuck You' to the world once in a while, " LeWitt told Hesse. "You have every right to. Just stop thinking, worrying looking over your shoulder, wondering, doubting, fearing, hurting, hoping for some easy way out, struggling, gasping, confusing, itching, scratching, mumbling, bumbling, grumbling, humbling, stumbling, rumbling, rambling, gambling, tumbling, scumbling, scrambling, hitching, hatching, bitching, moaning, groaning, honing, boning, horse-shitting, hair-splitting, nit-picking, piss-trickling, nose-sticking, ass-gouging, eyeball-poking, finger-pointing, alleyway-sneaking, long waiting, small stepping, evil-eyeing, back-scratching, searching, perching, besmirching, grinding grinding grinding away at yourself, Stop it and just DO.

Pisces Crone Moon Musings

Crone (Waning) Moon in PiscesMay 24, 2011

Affirmation: I let go of all fear. In the coming week I will say "YES!" to all challenges that come my way.

Fin. Watercolor on paper, 8 x 10 inches © 2011 by Kathy Crabbe.

Creative Soul Card®: Fin (choose your own card here)

Creative Soul Challenge: Complete and release one of your New Moon Intentions from the previous New Moon in Taurus on May 2. What is it and how will completing this intention change your life? Feel free to share your feelings and thoughts in my Creative Soul Circle Moon Musing Group.

Tap into your own 6th Sense by randomly choosing a book close by and turning to page 52, sentence 2. What does it say? Write it down and share in my Circle!

A Message from Moonstone:

Share your Crone Time Musings with a special friend and do something different to celebrate, release and let go of unwanted baggage. For me, this month I'm sharing these usually private Moon Musings (reserved for my Moon Musing Group) with all of you. Woohoo!

Journey Into Intimacy: Expression of the Divine Feminine ~ My Artist's Statement

I don’t believe in one truth or one way and so I paint abstractly to express multiple truths and ambiguities. It is often difficult for me to express my emotions so I am driven to paint them instead, often writing beforehand to gauge my mood.

I work with acrylics because of their watery, responsive nature and quick drying time which allows me to capture fleeting moods and fiery passions in brilliant colors that blend, bleed, drip and flow onto a smooth, prepared, wooden ground.

I work large (48”x 48”) because my emotions often feel huge and overpowering. A large surface allows me to express myself using my whole body, sometimes with large house painting brushes, a garden rake and my body pressed into the paint.

I think that viewers are most inspired by my use of color and by my spontaneous and free method of working. None of my paintings are pre-planned or pre-sketched. I don’t guess ahead when I’m painting, I let the painting lead me, no matter how long it takes. Sometimes one line can take hours and hours of just looking.

I hope my paintings inspire the discovery of hidden beauty.

Kathy V. Crabbe Temecula, California May 20, 2011

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