The challenge of living the artist's life plus looking for love in all the wrong places (100 words)

Looking for Love. Acrylic & pastel on masonite, 48 x 48 inches. © 2011 by Kathy Crabbe The Artist's Life

I could moan and groan and think and ponder ALL day long and do absolutely no painting because frankly it's all much easier than painting. "But painting is fun, it's child-like, it's playful," you say, and I say "NO" it's also gut wrenchingly challengingly because you are coming face-to-face with yourself and there is NO-WHERE to run, NO-WHERE to hide and no excuses, excuses are bullcrap and its not painting.

So next time someone says to you (if you are a painter, that is): "how fun, you paint" - look them in the eye and say: "It's not meant to be fun, it's most likely the most challenging thing I'll ever do and it ain't easy to put yourself on the line day in and day out without support or knowing if your work will be seen or appreciated by a single soul, much less make a living - it's a limbo-state and that's where artist's dwell. So please, FUN is not the word for it." Although if you offered me any other life in exchange for this one I would have to decline.

Making $ would be nice, but it certainly isn't any reason to be an artist and if you're in it for the money and fame that's your ego speaking and there no room for that in art, it just gets in the way of soul and it messes with your head BIG TIME  (and yes, having fun can mean expressing anger, in a healthy way).

My day in 100 words (plus 3* unmentionables)

Sometimes the only f*ing way to save my sanity is through painting because only the painting matters ~ all my f*ing doubts and fears and worries and stress and anger and resentment and hate and sadness and pain are released when I paint and yes, love too and passion and joy and wonder and hope. It all goes into the painting where it can safely reside rather than tear me apart inside. Why should you care? Because my paintings can f*ing knock your socks off especially if you're looking for love in all the wrong places. ha. Well look no further.

 

Star Orgasm

Supernova. Acrylic & pastel on masonite, 48 x 48 inches. © 2011 by Kathy Crabbe

"In the days before the Anunnaki came down and mated with the Goddess, women had bodies that radiated light out to the stars. A man who entered those bodies became a star during orgasm." ~ Barbara Hand Clow, The Pleiadian Agenda.

Being an artist is like believing in fairy tales when you're all grown up, and if you're really good you get to live them or at least dream in color.

psssst...i'm looking for places to show these creations, so if you have any suggestions please email me.

Supernova. Acrylic & pastel on masonite, 48 x 48 inches. © 2011 by Kathy Crabbe

Learn how to transmute radiation through creativity here.

Being in Love

In Process. Acrylic & pastel on masonite, 48 x 48 inches. © 2011 by Kathy Crabbe Sometimes being creative simply means being in love...with yourself, and then sharing that love with the world.

My Ideal Morning

  1. Get up early. Pet dog.
  2. Walk around property. Listen to the birds.
  3. Start painting and rock out to tunes.

Journey Into Intimacy Series

2010 Abstracts

2009 Abstracts

art-in-process blog posts

Balancing Act

It's the New Moon in Capricorn and time for us all to find the yin/yang balance within. So for me, as an artist this means balancing my businesshead with my artheart and PAINTING! Balancing Act (In Process.) Acrylic & pastel on masonite, 48 x 48 inches. © 2011 by Kathy Crabbe

Painting Notes:

Balancing art/life/biz

Picking up that brush and making that first stroke is EVERYTHING and NOTHING; bliss AND terror; both essential to reassure myself that I am indeed ALIVE.

One has to care deeply to paint from the soul.

I Won't Fear Love

Are we waking up and discovering "Our shoe's don't fit anymore?" I know we sometimes feel and pray that hope, excitement, peace and love are possible on a world wide scale and on a personal level.

As we travel deep, deep into the center of our souls we release little time bombs, tick, tick, ticking...just waiting to wake us up and then, when we're not even close to being ready, they explode forcing us to face and own up to our shadow, and accept the truth of who we are. So, how do we face our demons?

Do you ever have moments where time just stops and then goes backwards? Or is that just longing for what was?

'All time is now' - sometimes I like this idea, although I can't explain it. Early morning, for example takes me back in time which often makes me sad and may be why I avoid it.

And if I feel a rage I won't deny it I won't fear love.

Sarah McLachlan, Fumbling Towards Ecstasy

Musical Ambiance: Sarah McLachlan - Fumbling Towards Ecstasy, Ingrid Karklins - Anima Mundi