Beneath the Beneath

Beneath the Beneath. Acrylic and pastel on silk, 42 x 42 inches. © 2010 by Kathy Crabbe The silence is an invitation to think.

What are you really saying? Forcing the answer, making it fit within real-time practicalities lessens the meaning which can only be expressed wordlessly, through touch and sight.

In Process. Acrylic & pastel on masonite, 48 x 48 inches. © 2011 by Kathy Crabbe

The "little voice" in my head is quiet as I paint - putting brush to canvas - the colors and forms speak for me. No need for explanation. Isn't the process enough? But of course not! So I write an invitation to join me at play so you too can join the dance, the journey within. So you too can feel transformed through stream of consciousness being-ness, relaxing your tight hold on reality as you slip into something more comfortable...more perilous?

Beneath the Beneath. Acrylic and pastel on silk, 42 x 42 inches. © 2010 by Kathy Crabbe

Can 'ArtSpeak' explain it? Can you? Can I?

I can give you the moment before creation, captured in words, but then wordless-ness takes over, and the moment just is...as words leave me, and colour, line, form, expression, movement, take over.

Beneath the Beneath. Acrylic and pastel on silk, 42 x 42 inches. © 2010 by Kathy Crabbe

The softness almost unbearable. A need for sharp, dark, angst - to plunge into the depths beneath the beneath, where breathing no longer exists.

Musical Ambience: Sade ~ "Best of Sade", Rose Chronicles ~ "Dead and Gone to Heaven", Tori Amos ~ "Scarlet's Walk".

Moon Talon

When painting to music every song is like entering a different world. When creating from pain - paint is the antidote.

Paintings to capture what was...paintings to remember you...paintings to forget the past.

But what about the future? That, I can't imagine. What I can do is capture you on canvas...forever.

That imperfect moment made perfect...my creation. Making order out of chaos. The abstract and analytical mind can rest here, in being-ness.

Question: Without the pain can I paint? Painting relieves the pain, but with no dark emotion that needs release, how to paint?

Darkness I Seek.

To balance the light, the endless light of desert sun. Blood, sweat and tears.

Passivity does not engender paint. Anger, fight, passion, intensity, blood... does.

"Tell me that its nobodies fault but my own" from the album "Mutations" by Beck.

Moon Talon - acrylic and pastel on silk - 3.5' x 3.5'

Musical Ambience: Bjork - "Telegram", Rose Chronicles - "Gone to Heaven", Vetch - "Life's Not That Hard".

Journey into Intimacy

I'm painting again. It's back to a more physical way of being - painting puts me in touch with my body, movement and physical expression and is a form of ecstasy and release. I paint to music, loud music and this also sets a mood, a tone, a feeling.

This new series of paintings begun on Monday, November 19th are a journey for me into intimacy. I am painting and writing together - the one engenders the other, not sure in what order.

This latest is titled "Arrow of Pain" and with it comes Realization. Going deeper, more intimate, more, more, more. What does it mean? Being scared, but of what? Facing all the pain that intimacy has engendered over the years, facing all the mistakes, the regrets, the paths taken. Going into and beyond the hurt to reach the other side. Going deeply into feeling, so deeply that one fears getting lost inside.

I face my alone-ness every day. Some days it hurts. Some days I can work through it. Today I paint through it because I feel the pain more acutely. We are always truly alone and it hurts.

Musical Inspiration: Paul Van Dyck, Bjork, Loreena McKennitt, Tori Amos, 80's pop.

Self-Destruct

The silk panels I'm painting on are getting larger - more ambitious? (Not really, it's just that the silk itself is bigger due to the mouse holes that had eaten away at my early panels!)

Today I start fresh with a mini hypnosis session lasting five - ten minutes (suggested in the book "The Seth Material" by Jane Roberts - channeled info). I repeat a specific statement over and over, letting it permeate my cells, programming myself for the day ahead.

First I start with gesso on silk, then breakfast, then paint.

Getting ready to self-destruct on canvas.

Self-Destruct - 4' x 4' - acrylic & pastel on silk

I feel so close to you.

"But I remember everything...beneath the stains of time you will disappear". From the song "Hurt" by Nine Inch Nails

Musical & Movie Inspiration: Nine Inch Nails - "The Downward Spiral", The Kinks, Robyn Hitchcock and Portishead. Plus the wonderfully gorgeous movie "Mirror Mask".

My Story: About Kathy

Kathy Crabbe - Guiding Your Creative Soul

Kathy Crabbe - Guiding Your Creative Soul

Kathy Crabbe is an artist, writer and Creative Soul Guide who has devoted her life to exploring spirituality and creativity with passion and integrity. Kathy works with women to help empower their intuitive, creative selves through one-on-one creative soul readings, classes, and online resources. Her services are infused with a rich background in the arts and inspire her clients to live the life of their dreams. Kathy's art is seen all over the world at museums and galleries and her writing has been published in numerous magazines and books. She also keeps a regularly updated blog and website where she shares her experiences exploring the psychic, intuitive aspects of the self and the world of art making.

I have always been a dreamer; seeing visions that shed light into the dark places of the soul, where guidance, potential, answers and prophecies regarding past, present and future happenings can be found. Over the years I have kept this skill alive and continue to hone and enrich it on a regular basis.

Why I love what I do:

Connecting with women on a soul-deep level for heart-to-heart conversation, healing, inspiration, and creative breakthroughs – what more is there?

My Story

I have always been intuitively involved in the creative arts: painting, drawing, making music (I'm classically trained in flute and piano), writing, journaling, reading especially art history, graphic design, illustration and dancing and have pursued these passions with intensity and focus, often preferring my own company to anyone else. Living creatively opened a door for me into the world of imagination.

At thirteen I began a dream journal which helped me connect with other realms of consciousness, but more importantly taught me how to trust my intuition and my dreams in response to the important questions in life.

In my early twenties I was guided towards meditation to further my spiritual quest and joined a group led by a wonderful teacher called Om who had been trained by the spiritual teacher, Sri Chinmoy. I continue to practice meditation, yoga, dream journaling, moon musing and creative expression and this forms the basis of my intuitive and spiritual development.

Because I have learned how to access and trust my inner voice and visions I am able to connect with the Divine.

Turning 30

Shortly after moving to Southern California (Laguna Beach) at age thirty I experienced a re-birthing session during which I envisioned an entire business scheme for my new venture, LuLu Design that involved selling and marketing my artwork as cards, prints, clothing, earrings and originals. Soon after I discovered silk painting, the perfect medium and within one year I had attended fifteen art shows where I presented and sold my work. I was also accepted into Laguna Beach's Sawdust Art Festival where I showed my work for eight years. My architect, builder husband built me a two story booth every year for this two month long (10 am - 10 pm) 35 year old renowned art show with over 200 artists participating. What an incredible, fun, successful, beautiful, creative 60's inspired community!

Astrology

During this time I continued to celebrate the seasons with sacred circles, ritual, tarot, dream work and meditation and my visions increased. Laguna Beach is a mecca for astrologers, another passion of mine so I had the chance to study firsthand with Steven Forrest, Jeffrey Wolf Green, Donna Cunningham and privately with Patty Davidson.

Goddess Zodiac Book

I also spent an intensely creative month creating, painting and writing a Goddess Zodiac Playbook based upon channeled meditations for each of the zodiac signs in combination with the moon. As the moon entered each zodiac sign where it stayed for two days I created a sacred circle filled with all the symbols, foods and colors associated with that sign. I researched goddess lore for each sign, meditated, wrote, painted and channeled the energy of the sign - an incredibly powerful experience! I also included poetry, stories and myths into the book and then gathered together a circle of friends to experience it - the book truly was created to be an interactive experience.

Left Hand Drawing

Me, Michelle Shocked & Lefty: Ginny is a Rocker

Me, Michelle Shocked & Lefty: Ginny is a Rocker

In early 2000 I started drawing and painting exclusively with my non-dominant left hand, also known asthe intuitive hand because it is guided by the more emotional, intuitive right hemisphere of the brain.

I drew more than 500 Lefties over a five year period and discovered that my intuitive, psychic abilities were increasing to the point where I had to share these gifts by offering intuitive readings with the Lefties as oracle cards or Creative Soul Guide® cards

Turning 40

During this time of increased intuitive development I turned forty and Uranus Opposition kicked in to help push me to really, really stretch and grow. I realized that I had absorbed and learned all I could for now and that I MUST share it by giving psychic readings incorporating my art. It was the Lefties who suggested in a dream that I turn them into Lefty 'Tarot' cards and give psychic readings online along with encouragement from my life coach. The very next day I started offering free mini readings in the Etsy forum where previously I had set up shop selling my art. This was a great way to learn how the internet worked in regards to giving readings and 100's of free readings were gifted to get the ball rolling.

Intuitive Readings

I started offering psychic readings at a local new age store, but soon discovered that distance readings where I never met my client face-to-face were more effective because it allowed me to connect and channel the Divine without distraction. To prepare for each reading I practice yoga, meditation, flute playing and crystal healing to become as clear and focused as possible.

I receive clairvoyant visions and sometimes smells, words and feeling sensations in my body which I immediately write down.

I am also guided towards specific healing crystals and oracle cards (of my own design). More about my technique can be found here and you can read what clients are saying about their readings here.

It's been a lifelong journey of discovery, creation and intuitive, spiritual awakening so to be able to share with you and connect others of like mind is a gift I will always be grateful for. We are all intuitive, creative beings, for truly, we are one.

My Psychic Training

Psychic-Mediumship: I received psychic-mediumship training with renowned English channel and trance medium, Adam Higgs.

Crystal Healing: I received crystal healing certification from Katrina Raphaell’s Crystal Academy in Kapaa, Hawaii.

Astrology: I have studied privately and in group settings with Steven Forrest, Patty Davidson, Laura DesJardins, Donna Cunningham, Jeffrey Wolf Green and Barbara Hand Clow.

Yoga & Meditation: I learned meditation in a group setting based upon the teachings of Sri Chinmoy and have meditated and practiced yoga since 1992. I also practiced yoga with Amanollah Ghahraman & Atma Khalsa.

Herbalism: I studied herbalism in the Wise Woman Tradition offered by Susun Weed as part of the Green Witch Intensive.

Celtic Shamanism: Misha Maheo

Toning: Krista Kirkwood

Life Coaching: Jennifer Lee (Artizen Coaching)

Reiki: Jenny 'Star' Wright

Therapeutic Touch: Joyce Fournier, RN

Art Training

The Arts: I received my Bachelor of Arts in Art History from Queen’s University in Kingston, Ontario, Canada and later received a three year Diploma in Graphic Design from St. Lawrence College. I pursued my love of the arts by becoming a professional artist, and establishing a fine art business in 1993 called LuLu Design to help market my cards, prints and original paintings. Painting, printmaking, life drawing, exhibiting and selling my work have been major influences upon the way I envision and live in the world. Currently I am working on a series prints and large expressionistic paintings  titled Journey Into Intimacy.

Interviews

Blog Talk Radio: The Fog City Psychic 06-14/2011

Wise Woman Radio Interview with Kathy Crabbe and Susun Weed

Wise Woman Radio Interview with Kathy Crabbe and Susun Weed

Wise Woman Radio Interview: I'm interviewed by Susun Weed, founder of Wise Woman University.

Blog Talk Radio Interview: Past lives, spirits, and how to develop your intuition.

Voyageur Magazine Interview: Alumni Spotlight by St. Lawrence College.

Bliss Chick Blog Interview

Learn more about my background here: My Story 1 and My Story 2.

How can I help you?

Nurture! Creative Soul Readings to expand your horizons, heal and grow.

Awaken! Divine Feminine eClass to strengthen your inner wise woman; monthly moon-guided virtual sessions.

Shine! Creative Soul Spotlight shining a light upon creative souls everywhere.

Stay on track! Creative Soul Museletter to keep you on track with Mama Moon, includes creative soul affirmations.

Joy! Inspirational Art to uplift your soul with silk, watercolor and acrylic illustrations of mermaids, fairies, cats, dogs, and goddesses inspired by the lovely artist's community of Laguna Beach, California plus my very newest paintings ~ Journey Into Intimacy.